All this fuss about the poor parish priest in Parliament got me thinking a bit about the state and spirit of the age in our little Kingdom.
And you have to hand it to Denmark.
We're the first country in history to make loving your neighbour work.
Jesus tried. Credit where it's due.
But let's be honest - results were patchy. Two thousand years of operation, and still no guarantee anyone actually loved their neighbour. It was also a bit too easy to wriggle out of. You could basically just... not. There was no follow-up, no oversight, no sanctions.
Just imagine that.
His ENTIRE system rested on something as unprofessional as the heart!??
I mean, what!? Voluntary!?? Either he was an idiot or he was howlingly naive!?? No spreadsheet? No council lady to come knocking? No giro slip if you skipped it?
We've sorted that out.
We start at birth now. You're no longer baptised into the congregation. You're set up with MitID. And then lifelong access control with biosensors linked to everything in your life. Even your credit cards - when you get old enough to be issued one of those.
Today every Dane loves their neighbour with up to 52 percent of their income. The Church only asked for 10. Honestly, we thought it was a bit too restrained.
And the beautiful thing about the new form is that the love... arrives punctually, regardless of what the sender feels.
Yes. In fact, the feeling has been taken entirely out of the equation, which anyone will admit is an improvement, because feelings - they fluctuate - but the deduction percentage, that endures.
Charity was and remained a lottery.
The preliminary tax assessment, on the other hand - that's a promise.
And where Jesus could only offer a Hell that lay inconveniently far off in the future and required you to believe in it on top of that, we've built one that works immediately and requires no faith whatsoever.
The reminder comes whether you believe in it or not. With reminder fees. Wage garnishment. Seizure. Threat of debt collection.
"BE SO neighbourly, little citizen, or else...."
Punishment came home from the beyond and got a VAT number.
We've even kept judgment day. We just call it the annual tax statement. Once a year your deeds are tallied, lovingly... and mechanically... and you receive your judgment - the righteous get a refund, the sinners get additional tax, and the very worst get it with a little surcharge so they remember next year.
No prayer helps.
There's no intercession, only TastSelv.
So no, of course we don't need priests or teaching about Christianity in schools anymore.
And with all due respect - what would they teach the children?
That goodness is voluntary?
That you can say no and receive forgiveness?
Hello. Try saying no to the Debt Collection Agency and ask for forgiveness. You learn quickly who has the better theology...
So the priests must naturally be kept away from where the good news is to be spread. Because it's still being spread, make no mistake. It's just a new message now, and it needs no faith, no conversion, no priests.
Only an agency and a collection authority.
Now we just hope that all those values Christianity delivered will turn up by themselves - in the new system built on mistrust, control, surveillance, regulation and punishment.
And if not.
Can't we just solve it with an extra tax?
🤓🤷🏼♂️
Good evening, friends - are you grilling🥩☀️?
