We've been together almost twenty years, and I still can't quite hold that number.
Even more impossible is putting words to what the meeting with exactly her set in motion in me - and how deeply it changed me.
I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago. Even before her. There were too many strange convergences and I had too strong an ability for pattern recognition, which made it impossible to hold on to. I didn't know then what it would mean to let go. But I did it anyway.
The alternative would be - to lie about what I knew was true, but still couldn't explain why.
The strange thing about this shift was that I only began to examine afterwards what I had thereby actually stopped believing in, and what then stepped in its place.
Over the years it led me all the way back to Creation to understand. To the sense that everything connects, and to a slow recognition of a Word we had lost along the way.
The further I leaned into the faith that emerged of itself, the better my life became. In all ends and corners.
But clearest of all with her.
Gratitude and reverence turn out to be the same thing, seen from each side.
The truth here is.
She was not found.
She was handed to me.
❤️🔥🪽
