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The newspaper that gave us the Mohammed cartoons now reports about 7% of reality.
Journalist: Commissioner, there has been an exponential increase in rapes in your city lately. Have you arrested the perpetrators?
Commissioner: Yes.
Journalist: Is there any common denominator among the perpetrators?
Commissioner: No.
Journalist: I have the perpetrators' first names here. They are Muhammad, Mohammad, Mohamed, Muhamad, Mahmoud, Ahmed, Ali, Jihad, Hamza, Jamil, Hussain and Robert - most are here illegally, don't speak the language and all seem to talk about their God while the crimes are taking place. Is there no pattern at all?
Commissioner: Well, based on the name Robert, I would judge that it is probably a white nationalist cell behind the rapes.
Journalist: Thank you, Commissioner.
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(Freely after the brilliant @[100044551861281:2048:Gad Saad])
But of course, of course.
The major precautions and cordons throughout both the week and the weekend are primarily undertaken because there is credible intelligence that several of the country's seven Amish folk intend to arrive in horse carriages and throw cabbages and turnips.
"There is an objectively and unanimously established enormous and harmful threat to the security and the collective forward-moving harmony for all Comrades," states the spokesperson for the Committee for the Collective's Will and Sound Unity, who no longer identifies as a person, and who therefore also does not bear a name but is only referred to as Unit 44-B - who, when asked about its former name, answers that no former name is registered, and that the question has been noted - together with the questioner's name, address and employer. Contact will be made.
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